my glutinous past, my intollerant ancestry.

So 2.5 months ago, I finally got the results of a blood test I had in Melbourne, in the last week before I left Aus. Perhaps it has taken me that long to digest the news, but really I'd largely forgotten about it until now.

Amongst the hundred things I tried to do before I left to Prague in such a whirlwind was to take the next step on the road to a better understanding of my health. The last 'holistic GP' that I had seen in Bris some year to 18 months ago had mentioned that there was a genetic test for Coeliac condition.

I didn't much fancy the poo and/or bowel scrape tests offered earlier (partly because of the expense), and besides I was still in two minds about a whether I wanted a 'conclusive diagnosis', if indeed there is such a thing and if it would be useful anyway. You see, as much as I would like to know about my body, if my digestive troubles are long term but not permanent, I will be very glad, perhaps there is some yet to be tried restorative therapy I can undergo; But, if I can never drink a beer again without some adverse effects, then I'm not sure I want to know! I'm sure you can understand that!

I got to Prague and had so very many things to do & get used to that it was Christmas by the time I really turned my attention to the test results. I could not find the Doctor's email address. He had given it to me to write (to) him for the results. So I tried searching websites etc, to find a clinic matching my memory and wrote to them to see if they had records of my visit & what my doctor's name was! Funny thing is I did remember it, Dr George Wilson, but I thought Denis the Menace's grumpy neighbour could not also be my doctor. After much time the clinic and then he wrote to me; and incidentally, a few days later I found his card! In a most unexpected - I'll never loose it if I put it here - place.

What did the good doctor have to say about the results? Not bloody much. For such a long process, I still have no conclusion but he did say, in fact All he said was: "Hello Norris-you probably have coeliac disease, regards, George Wilson" Thanks for that George, you've been a great help. Plus he sent the results from the testing lab. More telling but not diagnostic: I have one of two necessary genetic markers consistent with the condition (Necessary but not sufficient, as logicians say). Only more invasive testing is considered diagnostic; but I've heard enough, a Coeliac by any other name still reacts to gluten!

Why do I tell you all this? Well maybe we share some of the same genes! So you might find this as interesting as I do, because I only ever knew about my Levi's before and not my DNA. I still have to do some more research to find out more about Coeliac condition and how to live better with it or improve my health with or without it; however the facts of experience speak loud enough and I would rather spend my money on other things than alternative health therapies since my health is relatively good and enabling me to do other things as it is now anyway. In other words, it can be a hassle to avoid gluten but I just do it now with less & less bother, as par for the course (of my life); and I am doing more, which is the more important to me than therapies or being able to consume gluten. When I have the money, I will try some 'therapies' again, but not diagnosis, as I no longer believe it is useful.

What did that mean? Well it's apparent that anything containing gluten really doesn't sit well. It has been 18 months since I recognised that beer and most commercial soy milks contain gluten (they are both made with malted barley which contains the said protein). I wasn't really aware of that before and of course did not want to know. However it became obvious in the months after I moved to Bris. As my diet was more or less free of those things for the 6?weeks I lived in Byron Bay before that, in early 2006; which was when I had my first blood test for Coeliac disease. That test was inconclusive, because it tested for gluten anti-bodies not present in my blood due to my gluten-free diet. I was in good health then. In Bris, I was a little stressed doing my ESL teaching course and beer was a familiar way to relax in the short term, then coffee, habitually with soy, to get me through the busy days of study. My health deteriorated again and the connection between gluten and gut ache (foggy head, grumps, etc, etc) was more apparent, and obvious when I discovered that I had been unknowingly consuming it with my seemingly innocent common convenient favourite beverages. Subsequent experience with substitutes made for clear: wine & spirit hangovers (provided I'd drunk in moderation, of course) were not nearly as debilitating, and I developed a taste for black coffee. Ironically, as I became generally less foggy & fatigued in the following months I had less need to reach for coffee, and being more effective at work, had less stress to drink my way away from. Haha.

What began as following advice to avoid wheat, which proved sound, progressed to decisions to avoid other grains, which had started to trigger the same old symptoms, and led via trial & error to discover the common denominator. I am still willfully not so knowledgeable about Coeliac condition but I did read that typically symptoms are recognized in the early 20s and the condition becomes worse from then on. So now I am an intolerant bastard.

Why the first naturopath I saw back in 1998 or so didn't recommend a Coeliac test, I don't know; but perhaps the sudden change in diet and lifestyle (ie: beerless) would have been too dramatic to ... stomach, haha. Speculation on past what-ifs are useless but perhaps I could have avoided a lot of other BS and problems and difficulties if I had simply avoided Gluten from the start of my "health" search, 10 years ago. I saw so many know-all, know-nothing (occasionally well-intentioned) experts over the years who imagined I had everything from 'proto-schizophrenia' to 'ADD'. These weren’t very useful descriptions of my condition but poor labels, with worse treatment regimes, for various symptoms with one basic and common cause: a genetically inherited inability to digest a particular type of protein commonly occurring in grains, and therefore a large range of common foodstuffs prevalent in a typical western diet. In other words, I didn't imagine avoiding something could bring … drive and clarity, I thought I needed more [of something, from the outside, some help or therapy or a pill or whatever].

I saw a very good naturopath in Melbourne in early 2007. He had basically cured himself of the worst effects of Crones disease (I believe it is another, and much much worse, genetic condition affecting the digestive tract) and managed his condition. Conventional medicine had been prepared to remove his entire ailing bowel as a last resort, but he wanted to keep it and started studying natropathy to find some solutions. The consultation with him was a confirmation of my experiences and very reassuring. If I wanted to pursue gut rehabilitation I could. However, it's one of those funny things that we only address problems in our lives when they cross our individual and arbitrary thresholds of tolerance. Plus mostly we would rather not know if we feel bad, especially if isn't acute and/or obvious.

After years of discomfort, and more or less assuming that was normal, to the step by step improvement (mainly two forward, one back) of the last, say 10 years; I now feel so many times better that I have lost the immediate incentive to pursue further improvement! Recovering cancer patients have better health than I do, simply because they were forced to focus on their health and establish such good habits of 'self-care'. Then again, most people live with milder health problems than I do, simply because they never feel bad enough to do anything about it. Funny isn't it, when actually everyone could enjoy better physical functioning if they only did something about it, but most westerners are so alienated from their own bodies (or alternatively, obsessed!) that this just doesn't happen. I could talk about this for ages actually, naively and academically, as I studied for example, 'Western history of the Body' at university; but I really would rather continue to 'get physical' so that my body is less a source of discomfort and more of a tool for realising my other aims, as I achieve these my body will speak for itself. So far so good. As the old saying goes: "Healthy people have many goals, the sick have only one."

If the last paragraph was intellectual, then this one can be a list. Over the recent years I started to pursue new physical activities but only in the recent months have I been able to be more consistent. I feel I now have the reliable strength and stamina to stick with these activities, and more importantly than that, I don't just like them but I really enjoy them, because my body works. Then I could briefly mention my increased 'mental' clarity and focus, the change was remarkable about 8 years ago but has also steadily improved. I can read. Not just short articles and with effort. I mean I can read novels, which require sustained concentration, and I can even remember complex discourses about them, that I read on public transport. This is amazing. I have begun to appreciate literature. I'm excited about novels; about English literature.

So I can only assume that this rave was prompted as much by the half beer I drank last night as by my intention to write about the test results anyway. I'm living in the land of beer so I'm going to have to taste test from time to time. However it is disappointing that again my body is a little dramatic, I mean it wasn't even a full glass. At least the symptoms are not a mystery, and no longer experienced as random, beyond my control and inseparable from "how I am". Effects always have a cause [and I am not my body, but I have one].

I drank a whole glass of beer one night before Xmas. It was dark and delicious, and immediately brought to mind 100 nights of fun or disaster and memories of 100 friends whom I shared them with. It was quite incredible, bordering on hallucinogenic; The full olfactory memory-triggering experience. I can compare it to Harry dipping into Dumbledore's pensive. Then by the time I got home I felt ill and depressed, I went to bed early, the next day was hazy. Then two months ago I ate some hot chips, evidently they were spiked with flour (as most cheep chips are) because 30-45 mins later I had the most incredible cramps and gut pain ever, it took 24 hours to recover. Today the symptoms were mild but proportionate to the input and I am still so surprised and disappointed that this is my lot in life when it isn't many others. However, it could be worse, 10,000 times worse, and I am very grateful it isn't. I'm happy I can do (and eat/drink) so very many other things, especially now that I know what I can't.

So Coeliac or not, I have learned by trial and error and by experience. This really is the only way when it comes to life lessons. Learning facts and abstraction is academic, useful sure, but not as directly applicable to one's life (except that demonstrated capacity for it will earn you more money and therefore access to a range of more expensive experiences). Until recently I had occasionally been depressed and honestly neurotic with thoughts like: "well thanks to my health I've missed the boat and life has passed by and I failed to grasp it and now I may never, and other people have, and I'm still half a child, ... and poor me" and that rubbish; but it's a boring story and I don't believe in it anymore. Life begins at 30. Haha. [Or whenever you're ready. No worries. Just make the most of what you've got left. The past is just that]

I do want a lot out of life. My desires are vast and deep. As I don't hide my confusion behind my pride, and keep my frustration on ice with cold anger, I now know my appetites better. Of course I can't always tell what's good for me and not, but at least I'm learning what I want (and there are many things I want more than a sandwich and a beer!) and can more consciously make positive decisions.



So I hope taking a lot of time over writing this was a positive decision. I've honestly said a lot I know, and perhaps it was more benefit for me than you, but the whole "health journey" was a dominating theme in my life (even though I didn't always confront it directly), and I think that chapter is now closed (although ironically I'll be trying some alternative therapies again soon); actually writing is therapy, and training, the process is still very fresh and interesting for me, I could say it’s novel; but no more intensely personal epic blog posts from me, there'll be more short sharp travelogues from now on, I promise.